I have a confession to make. Despite the 9th July publication date shown above for this journal entry, I actually wrote and published it on the 10th.
OK, it was about 1:30AM and before retiring to bed, but that's still the 10th and not what I intended.
Yes, after proclaiming to the world yesterday (or more accurately, two days ago) that I would write a post every day, I kind'a sort'a missed my target on the very first day.
And it's not that I forgot to write. I just did not make the time to write. I was too busy chasing my tail and trying to save the world to make the time to do the one thing that I had committed to doing less than 24 hours earlier.
As I ponder over this now, I'm drawn to one disturbing observation: at 40, I still don't have any daily rituals that allow me to make time for those important-but-not-urgent things in my life. I still do not know how to manage my work, my time, and my life.
Whether it's client work or a personal project, I've not developed any system that allows me to execute multiple projects concurrently. So when I start one project (and a "project" can be as simple as reading a book!), it consumes my whole life and I don't put it down until it's completely done. Or as is more often the case than not, until it's abandoned by me or the client.
Take yesterday for instance. Other than the occasional break to eat or take a walk around the hotel where I'm lodging, I spent the entire day -- from 3AM when I woke up and sat down to work, until well after midnight when I started writing this journal entry -- working on a new Moodle deployment for NCUK Accra.
And this, for a project that I'd neither priced nor had any formal agreement signed. Yikes!
I even totally ignored 5yo Elvis pretty much all day (unless you're going to count shouting across the room every 5 minutes to get him to focus on his Power Homeschool lesson as giving him attention 😓)!
It's worth pointing out that, for a long time now, yesterday's example has been the norm rather than the exception. It's also worth mentioning that this unfortunate situation has more to do with my own inability to manage my life than excessive workload or pressure from clients.
I find myself constantly operating in crisis mode, solving other people's crisis and emergencies.
I've juggled my mind and read a lot about various remedies I could take to cure myself of this insanity and make time for my important personal goals and pursuits, like writing. And I'm sure most of these remedies can swing the pendulum a little bit in the desired direction.
But the really big elephant in the room is that I'm engaged in a lot of activities that may be helpful to the others, but are neither profitable nor fulfilling to me.
IT consulting is number one on that long list.
Last year, I completely shut down my little hosting and IT consulting business so I could have time to write. At least that's what I told myself.
Unfortunately, the more I try to get out of IT and consulting completely, the
get allow myself to be dragged into it. I've been unable to say "NO" to people who can to me for
help, often after spending a great deal of money with big-name providers and CONsultants who failed to deliver.
So I've gone from overworking and getting regular paychecks every month, to overworking and not getting paid at all. Way to go, George👍
But why am I even sharing all these? What's the point?
If I can be brutally honest with you, I don't know. I had no idea my thoughts and keyboard would lead me this far when I sat down and stared at my blank text editor.
But now that I've come this far and written this much, I can only hope that there is someone somewhere out there in the vast universe who will find this story useful, or at the very least, entertaining. I am hopeful that I have a struggle mate out there who will find comfort in knowing that they are not alone in their struggles.
And as I work to dig myself out of this hole (which I'm absolutely certain I will), I fancy it would be interesting to look back and either cry or laugh over the depth of despair that I had sunk myself into.
And these, my dear reader and friend, are good enough reasons for me to share this with the world.
Until the next time, stay safe and stay blessed.
This page was last modified on Sun, 12 Jul 2020 10:37:44 GMT.